When I walked her home we kissed and she thanked me for being considerate. "Friday night, I'll listen to you. I want to hear everything," she said.True to her word, Alice held me and asked me to tell her everything. As it happened, my first letter from Becky had arrived that day and Alice was the only one I wanted to share it with. Watching her reach for her purse, find a pair of thin, metal-rimmed glasses and put them on, gave me distressing assurance that I had been right; the workload was affecting her physically.Saturday July 18, 1987Dear Sammy,Your Mom gave me the letter. I can't describe the feeling it gave me to read your words. It was delicious and painful at the same time, delicious to know that they were your thoughts, painful to know that we are so far apart. Reading your letter made my heart flutter and my chest tight.Do you really miss me as much as I miss you? You couldn't. It's impossible.I'm sorry that my mom hung up on you. There was nothing that I could do about it.. Uh…well…”Samantha cut her off: “Don’t act like you didn’t mean to,” she said. “If you didn’t mean to, you wouldn’t have stood there that long!” she laughed.Tara turned even brighter red. “What??? I was just so stunned that—““You weren’t stunned – you were watching – we know that!” Samantha said, teasing her sister. “It’s okay, we don’t care.”Tara fought back: “If I can’t say I didn’t mean to, then you guys can’t say you didn’t care,” she said, looking at me and making me feel embarrassed. “You DID care – in fact, you liked it – don’t think I couldn’t tell what happened the minute you realized I was there!”Now it was my wife’s turn to be embarrassed. “What do you mean? You just happened to be there at the EXACT time that we were…well, uh…finishing.”“Bullshit,” Tara said. “You guys got off on being watched – I know it.”I loved the direction the conversation was going and stepped in: “How do you know?” I asked.Tara lowered her eyes a little and then said sheepishly: “Because I was.
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